Hey world, could you cut me a break sometime?

you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.

you’re good shit babe, you’re good shit. and i love ya.

i got one girlfriend - and she ain’t a bitch. even on her bitchy days.

i got some family. fuck em’.

and this crazy mother fucker.

Like I wish someone else could just be me for a day, and maybe they would be able to tell me why I do things the way I do. I feel free when I’m away from home. I feel a sense of gain and independence. This is all new to me, but I like not being at home. I like the way it makes me feel knowing it fucks with my parents heads. If i had a penis I would wag it at them. Idiots, my god. It just so happens I can stay here, and I don’t mind waking up to his grouchy ass in the morning. When I look around it’s not like I completely enjoy my surroundings but I can manage. At least I seem to be managing and don’t want to sleep at home, and haven’t since last Saturday. I’m sleeping and eating and going to school.

Fuck this world.

WHAT DO I WANT?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

Life fucking surprises me, it fucks with me. You know?

Just when I thought I had life figured out for a second or two; the rug of my life throws me into the air and SMACK. right onto my face
I had a feeling i wasn’t going to be able to predict my life anymore.
I’ve found comfort in the control of that. I’d say i even mastered it.
But it got so boring, knowing what to expect. everyday played out the same.
waking up in the same position i always do. way later than i should have woken up,
wrist cramped. eyes fucking sore because i was too stoned to take them out before i fell asleep. too much on my mind before i fall asleep- i’m not thinking about my contacts. i should be. I crave a cigarette, and a cup of coffee. sometimes it scares me how quickly I can get a cigarette lit and into my mouth. leaving the store, getting out of class, that smoke is there, in my mouth, lit ready for the hauling quicker than you can say soul transplant.

my mornings haven’t included coffee nor a cigarette in bed the past few days. I have to drag my lazy ass out of bed, find a sweater and then outside onto cold steps to quickly smoke my morning cigarette. This is what i chose though. For now atleast. I’m taking comfort in knowing how uncomfortable I am.